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Rise in cases of technology being used to control partners
Listen to Megan’s* story, who “went through hell” when her partner used technology to gaslight and control her life.

This valentine’s, Glow is highlighting the rise in cases of technology being used to control partners.

We spoke to one of our customers, Megan*, who “went through hell” when her partner used technology to gaslight and control her life.

“My partner had this habit of putting his sim card in my phone and then he’d press various things.

“I started to realise my call minutes and texts were going down – I had 700 minutes and rarely called anyone and all of a sudden I’d have none left.”

Things then started disappearing or moving in the house: “I put things down in a certain place and I’d go out the room. When I came back in, it would be nowhere to be seen. I knew I’d put it there. Things appeared on my walls, like loads of writing and numbers.

“I started hearing voices too. They made me really paranoid and ill. I lost all my weight.

“I had no privacy – I couldn’t go to the bathroom, have a bath in private, go to bed. I couldn’t just sit in a room quietly because that voice would just appear as say “what do you think you’re doing!” and it would make me jump every time.

“Every time I’d say something he would just tell me that I needed to go to the doctors or speak to someone.”

Megan* soon became suspicious of what her partner was up to after spotting him on several occasions with an ear piece in and acting strangely around the house: “One day I was outside waiting for a taxi and I saw him remove something from underneath my windowsill. I went back in and asked him what he was doing, he turned round a told me I was being paranoid.”

Her partner was also violent, and the police were called to their home on numerous occasions. Megan* claims she told the police what was happening, but because she had a history of drug use, she wasn’t believed: “I’d ring the police because I knew he was doing something but the police would just contact the paramedics because they thought I was losing the plot.

“I was so scared and I didn’t know what to do with myself.

Megan* says the situation was made harder because the only people she saw were people who knew him too. She was also scared to call anyone in case he was listening in to the phone call.

“I had no one to turn to. I tried to go to my family and they just told me it was because I was taking drugs. I felt they didn’t listen to what I was saying or believe me.”

“My ex had me in the right place, because if I told anyone about what was happening, people just told me it was all in my head.”

It was three months after first telling the police that they worked out what was happening: “He bugged my house and he was spying on me with cameras.”

He had also bugged her phone and was getting information on all her calls, texts and online activity: “I was sat next to my ex one day and I had my phone in my lap. I’d taken the battery out and he turned to me and made a comment about someone texting and ringing. He was getting all the info on his computer.”

Two years on, Megan* is living in her own place: “I guess it was unbelievable what I was saying, so I guess it was normal not to believe me. But, people just assumed it was all in my head and it really was not.

“It’s hard to still get my head around it all and I still keep thinking why me.

“I still struggle to trust people now. The police had to take away my phone to examine and they offered to get me a new one but I was suspicious about them bugging my phone so I wouldn’t accept it.

“Looking back at what I’ve been through – if I had a hat, I’d take my own hat off.”

If you or someone you know is experiencing tech abuse then get in touch with us, we can help to put steps in place to put a stop to the abuse. Find out more about tech abuse here.


Need someone to talk to or know someone who does?

If you are in immediate danger please call 999

Get in touch 0330 0945 559

CALL 0330 094 5559, OR 999 IN AN EMERGENCY

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