What was the challenge?

Andrew was referred to Glow after being separated from his abusive partner. He described his partner as “unpredictable”, excusing and tolerating her behaviour because “she had recently suffered bereavement and was on medication for depression”. Even worse, he feared he couldn’t seek help in case false allegations were made against him or his children would be removed from him. 

Andrew felt helpless and embarrassed. Having previously worked in security, he thought because of his build and his experience resolving violent incidents at work, nobody would believe he was a victim of violence himself.  On the brink of suicide, Andrew said he couldn’t see a way out from the situation. Although the police and his GP were providing support, Andrew was disappointed that no charges were being brought against his partner in regard to her abuse of their children.

As a father, he was ashamed that he wasn’t aware of her abusive behaviour toward the children and felt like he failed as a father because he didn’t safeguard them. Friends and associates blamed him for the relationship breakdown, and, even though the children didn’t want to have contact with their mother, he was ridiculed for denying his partner access to their children. With the stress and anxiety of it all, he wasn’t able to continue working, and, being self-employed, this put even more stress on his situation.

How did glow help?

The first step was helping Andrew address and fully understand the situation he was in. Through an initial assessment with our team, he was able to understand and come to terms with himself that the behaviour he experienced really was abuse, commenting, “I would apologise if she hurt herself hitting me.” Our team worked to help Andrew stop blaming himself for what he experienced and clearly identify the types of abuse used by his ex-partner so a clear record of events could be captured.  Through 1:1 support, Andrew was able to use those recounts to become more knowledgeable on how to better identify abusive behaviour and put his partner’s behaviour into perspective to help him begin to heal and overcome his experience. 

Once we helped Andrew to begin address his emotional and mental health needs, our team worked with Andrew to devise a support plan, including support in accessing a solicitor and legal aid, finances, welfare benefits, housing and continued emotional support.  Andrew is currently being supported by our team in the family courts regarding his child custody and child contact arrangements.

What was the impact?

Although we are still supporting Andrew to this day, there are many successes Andrew has experienced along his journey. Presently, the court is ruling in his favour and the wishes of the children, in addition to:

• Andrew obtained a non-molestation order against his ex-partner
• Andrew is in a new, healthy relationship and working full-time
• Andrew wants to become a volunteer helping to support other male victims of relationship abuse

All names have been changed to protect the privacy of our customers.

What was the challenge?

When Jenny first came to Glow, she was 5 months pregnant and was homeless. After leaving her violent partner, her sofa surfing quickly didn’t work out, leaving her feeling helpless on what to do. She had 4 children with very limited contact to them, 2 young daughters living with her ex-partner’s mother and 2 older sons. She had a conviction for possession with intent to supply a class A drug, and, with a previous heroin addiction, was on a daily script methadone programme. 

Jenny felt isolated, having limited contact to her immediate family and only some contact with her partner’s mother. She had a history of very violent relationships with several partners and had visible scarring from the physical abuse and suffered from mental health difficulties from emotional abuse.

Without a fixed address, her benefits had been suspended, and, because of her current circumstances, her unborn baby was on a Child Protection Plan with a high possibility the baby would be removed at birth. 

Desperate to keep her baby, Jenny needed support to help her find accommodation urgently and help with her physical and mental health needs. The Glow team needed to work quickly to find a support plan that addressed all of the different concerns she had urgently. 

How did glow help?

The first step was addressing Jenny’s immediate care priorities, sourcing accommodation and financial support. Through Glow’s guidance, Jenny was able to reinstate her Employment and Support Allowance as well as her Housing Benefit. Next, the team worked in collaboration with the local substance misuse agency to arrange a daily methadone script and support with her overall health concerns. With her housing, financial, substance and health circumstances improving, the team worked with social care to monitor and reassess the Child Protection Plan in place, with a successful outcome of helping Jenny to keep her baby.

Once the baby was born, the team wanted to focus support for Jenny both in her role as a mother to a newborn, as well as provide support to help her address and overcome her experiences with abusive relationships.  

Through the children’s worker in the refuge she was residing in, Jenny was able to access emotional support and advice when needed, and the support team helped source donations for items like a brand new cot and moses basket. 

Through our courses at the Sunrise Centre, Jenny completed Freedom and Parenting and Recovery Toolkit, giving her knowledge and skills for the future, as well as confidence and self esteem that she can make the appropriate decisions for her and her baby’s safety and wellbeing.

What was the impact?

As a result of our team’s support and Jenny’s cooperation:

• Jenny  adhered to her Child Protection Plan and was able to keep her baby
• Jenny left her refuge accommodation and resettled into the community 
• Jenny is completely off her methadone script
• Jenny’s self-esteem and confidence has increased
• Social care involvement with the child has stopped

All names have been changed to protect the privacy of our customers.